The Black Hole of Nothingness

It's like a never ending circle, a black pit of spiraling nothingness. It's kind of depressing, looking down into that pit, watching as it swirls around and around with no end, no bottom, no light. It's nothing. Absolutely nothing...and it's sucking out the colors from my life, taking away my hope. Stupid hole. I hate that hole. I never thought it would spread into my school life. Yeah, I'm not a great student, I do what I have to to pass, but other then that I could care less. Never studied in high school but passed with A's and B's, but I try harder now that I'm in college. I like college, I like learning, I'm like a dry sponge ready to soak up whatever I can...and yet, that hole...its there taunting me. Where has it spread you may ask?

Computer Science.

I know I only answered three questions for chapter 0 (yeah 0 huh, strange right?), but at least I was able to answer something. I read the text and I can literally feel my brain go 'a-dUh?'. It's sickening. I am not stupid! I am not slow! Okay well maybe my high school math grades will say differently, BUT I'm not a stupid kid! But I read the text and I literally don't understand a word of it. We're only on chapter one, and I'm already floundering. I won't survive 2 1/2 months. There is no way. I don't get it. Its like everything is going in circles, between the AND's the OR's the XOR's and the NOT's, oh and lets not forget the 1's and 0's from hell. I reread chapter 1 1.1 -1.2 several times and nothing, NOTHING clicked. I read on, and looked back at the homework questions. So few questions and yet I can't answer answer. a. single. one.

This class makes me feel stupid. I mean, I sit in class and listen to the teacher talk and just want to run away or sob! I DON'T GET IT! I mean, it's like a different language. GIVE ME MATH! I'll take another four years of math, ANYTHING BUT THIS!

This isn't fair. He should just drop me. So long as I pass my other classes I'll be fine. I'll still be doing 75% of my classes and won't have to worry about paying back any of my FASFA. Just let it end.

The freakin' universe hates me.